carr van pool

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

...

Being in love is ridiculous...so many times now...doesn't this stuff ever run out? How often do you do it before there are diminishing returns? Each time it feels new, and if good, it feels like it will be the last; if it is not the last, then is it "true", true? Was it true each time? It felt that way, and after, after the partings, the goodbyes, the returns, and more goodbyes, and then one last attempt at a return on my part, and no chance given then, and the goodbye being then final, I have still felt as if that love was true, we just had different ideas of how to execute it, how to go about it, but it felt at times as if it was more important to be the one to say goodbye first and not be left, then it was to live the daily routine without the rush of love rising, new love, new victory...oh hell, I don't know what I'm talking...but now, when I run the scenario of the last goodbye, it is not me leaving, and that appears to be the victory.